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How Do You Love Those That Despise You?
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
As a Christian who supports marriage equality and LGBT rights, I have seen a side of humanity and Christianity that I could have done without seeing. I have seen seemingly outstanding citizens turn to vessels of anger and hate when they begin to voice their negative opinions on sexuality and sexual orientation. Churches have imploded and both family and other relationships have been severed because of emotions surrounding this issue.
Those of us who are LGBT and allies who believe in the power of GOD through his Son Jesus Christ, find ourselves in a difficult and painful spot. How do we love those that despise us? How do we give to others what they fail to give to us? How do we hold on to a Faith that seemingly rejects us?
Detox
August 2013 will mark my eleventh year of addressing religious based homophobia. For almost eleven years I have traveled the road of toxic shame, and hate as religion. I have gone toe to toe with the who’s who of religious based heterosexism and homophobia and along the way, their toxic hate did not stay with them. After so many battles the toxic hate and shame was passed on to me. I had began to despise those who despised the lgbt community.
It all came to a boiling point January 2013 when I realized that every part of my life was being tainted by my battles with ills of religion. I had no balance. I had began to spend more time with those that despised my message of equality for all, than those who truly love and supported me. I had lost my balanced outlook on religion.
It was time for change.
The wake up call came and I answered and began to replace disdain of my enemies with love and compassion for those that view me as an enemy.
Detox.
Hate is toxic and will consume you.
And I Knock
Matthew 7:7-11 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
As you have traveled this journey called life, have you bypassed locked doors (obstacles in your life) by kicking them down? No matter what the obstacle was that blocked your way (past abuse, shame, fear, a lack of self worth, etc..) you jumped through it, kicked through it or lower your head and ran through it. Now there is a door that you just can’t bust through. There is an obstacle that you just can’t seem to make it through on your own. Every part of your being is sore and tired as you have managed just enough energy to stand up to face that locked door (obstacle)
Instead of depending upon my energy, my drained energy to open the door by force, I am going to take the self energy I have left and knock on that locked door.
Physically I have none left; so I pray. I pray, I look to your Lord to open those locked doors, to help me move passed those unpassable obstacles.
I give all to you.
Amen
The Art of Giving Your All: Walking In The Footsteps of Jesus
Mark 12:38-44 NIV
12:38 As he taught, he said, “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces,
12:39 and to have the best seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets!
12:40 They devour widows’ houses and for the sake of appearance say long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.”
12:41 He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums.
12:42 A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny.
12:43 Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.
12:44 For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.”
When looking at giving our all for Christ we must identify a few things. Of course we must identify what all is. Is all meaning our finances, our we suppose to follow in the footsteps of the widow? Does giving to Christ mean giving our time to the church, giving our time to charity? Does giving our all to Christ mean living our lives according to the Christ principle of love?
Growing up in church I cannot recall a stewardship Sunday, without the story of the poor widow who gave her last penny to the church as an offering. If you are like me you probably cannot count the times that you have heard her story in reference to church giving. I envisioned the little ole lady hunched offer making her way to the front of the church very slowly as she makes her way with the help of her cane and places her last penny into the offering basket. For many of the listeners a guilt comes upon them when unlike the widow they do not give their last to the church. Either on purpose or by accident this seems to be the effect of the story of the widow. Today I want us to apply a do over to this story. Uh huh, yes we spend the next 20 minutes or so rethinking and relearning all we know about the story of the widow. We will see how this story relates to today as we are experiencing marriage equality, reconciling churches, racial and gender equality and yet we still have so far to go. As a church community we have so far to go. We are facing a time in America where many are walking away from organized religion.
“One-fifth of the U.S. public – and a third of adults under 30 – are religiously unaffiliated today, the highest percentages ever in PewResearchCenter polling.”
- Atheists and agnostics make up almost 6% of Americans. Another 14% claim no specific religious affiliation.
- The percentage of unaffiliated Americans has grown by almost a third in the past five years.
- Two thirds of unaffiliated Americans say they believe in god. But when asked, “Are you looking for a religion that’s right for you?” 88% of them say “no.”
- The younger an adult is, the less likely they are to claim a religious affiliation. Only 9% of those over 65 are unaffiliated, while 32% of those aged 18-29 are unaffiliated.
This is serious because our churches are not closed systems and need the stream of active new members. The fields need new workers. New workers with new vision, dedication and freshness.
Now when asked why are you leaving organized religion, organized Christianity, many will say I left the church because of its hypocrisy. When speaking to my atheist friends, many say that the best recruiters for atheism are Christians. There words not mine. But the hypocrisy that clouded believers of God during John Mark’s time still covers us today. For instance on August 1st of this year, millions of Christians stood in long lines to buy chicken from a “Christian” based restaurant who gives millions of dollar to anti-gay “Christian” based organizations. Many supporters of Chick Fil A believed that their waiting in the long lines was a form of giving their all to Christ. For others, the idea of millions of Christians lined up in support of Chick Fil A was another nail in the coffin of organized religion. For them it was a painful reminder of hypocritical Christians who speak about the love of God but do not show that love to others.
This hypocrisy was the same hypocrisy that Jesus Christ spoke on when he delivered these words to his followers including his disciples in the temple in Jerusalem:
12:38 As he taught, he said, “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces,
12:39 and to have the best seats in the synagogues and places of honor at banquets!
12:40 They devour widows’ houses and for the sake of appearance say long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.”
The first key in the Art of Giving our All for Christ is motivation. Is our motivation carnal or spiritual? Spiritual motivation is the inner and carnal motivation. The scribes were motivated by outer influences. They were motivated by their religious rock star status and made it obvious by wearing articles of clothing that identified them as people who deserved the front of the line privileges and the best of the best, even though many around them were starving, living in poverty and oppression.
These religious leaders took advantage of the hospitality of widows who opened their homes to them. During these times those that interpreted scriptures were prohibited from receiving a salary so they depended on the kindness of others. Many scribes took advantage of the kindness especially the kindness of widows who opened their houses to them. These men in some cases tricked these women into given them their houses. They took advantage of the gifts of others.
Jesus Christ was not just warning the listener about the scribes and other religious leaders, he was warning them to not become like the scribes. Painfully I must report that many of our brothers and sisters have failed to heed to this message
If we take this and apply it to today it resembles our current religious system that uses the gifts of many of our lgbt brothers and sisters but does not affirm them or their families. Or a religious system that uses the physical and spiritual gifts of women but does not make a seat at the table from them and keeps them from leadership positions and decision making.
And although many of us have found houses of worship that are inclusive, we must not forget that there are others who need to know that they are not alone in their pain.
So what is our motivation?
When it comes to living a welcoming and affirming theology, if your motivation is about money and respect, you are in the wrong field. Our motivation is one of the foundations of who we are as Christians. If that motivation is not grounded in the spiritual than we will falter, our motivation for following God must be based on love and faith; love of God, love of others and especially ourselves.
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[f] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[g] There is no commandment greater than these.”
So this brings us back to the widow. Jesus witnessed the widow take everything she owned financially and place into one of the offering chest. This woman who was in poverty gave financially to a system that was not lacking. It is my belief that Jesus was not only commending this woman of faith but also was condemning a system that thrives from the oppression of others, a system that continues to take from many with so little to give and yet offers nothing in return.
A system that exploits the gifts of others but does not affirm, a system that continues to rule on fear, shame and pain while love is only a passing word.
The Christian body has lost its way, has lost its motivation, and although those of us here are the people on the fringe, God is calling us to remind his people the source of their motivation. LOVE. As people on the fringe; those rejected by larger body we must not grow complacent in our inclusion, in fact we are messengers.
In Greek history messengers were used during times of battle to deliver messages from the battlefield back to home. It normally took them days to deliver the news. There is a legend of one messenger who was sent from Marathon, Greece to Athens to deliver the message that their undermanned army had defeated the mighty Persian Army. It is said that this messenger after fighting in the battle and in full battle gear ran 25.4 miles nonstop from Marathon, Greece to Athens, Greece to deliver the good news. Exhausted it is said that he muttered one word which was translated “We have won”.
Like the messenger in the legend we have good news. The good news is that God still speaks, through and to those whose motivation allows them to hear. If we are motivated by love we will continue to open our hearts to give whatever God asks of us. The truth is that if we are motivated by love and motivated by the inner, the spirit will lead us. And even though we are viewed as those on the fringe of the big system of what is called organized religion and in some situations have been rejected by those who say they love is ; we must continue to love just as Jesus loved when he asked for mercy of those who crucified him. So if we ask the question what is our all, my answer would be love.
Present Circumstances Don’t Determine Future Possibilities
Present Circumstances Don’t Determine Future Possibilities
For the sake of today’s message, the present circumstances that I want to focus on are those circumstances that are messy, uncomfortable, far away from our expectations. Those circumstances that have us feeling small and at times uncertain. It is at these times of the smallness and uncertainty, where the power of God and growth through Jesus Christ can be seen in our individual lives and our collective lives. The key is opening our spiritual eyes as we discover
- The mystery of Growth
- Where the power of Growth is hidden
- Where growth can be seen
We will come back to that
Present Circumstances Don’t Determine Future Possibilities
Growing up in the 70’s my mother and I lived in a small apartment off of 31st and Paseo. We received public assistance as my mother worked nights as a waitress. Although my mother graduated with her high school diploma she would admit that she didn’t receive all that she needed and was passed on. It was because of her learning deficiencies that she was determined that her children would get a better education. She installed in me a love for reading, for learning and the library. Because we did not have a car, we either walked or rode public transportation to the library. To my mother, education was the key to achieve a brighter future. Even with her hardships, she was determined to show me that you can do anything if you put your mind to it; so one Summer in the mid 70’s, mom started college with me in tow. She was determined not to let her present circumstances at the time: a statistic divorced single black undereducated mother determine her future or the future of her son. We all know that life is unpredictable and things happen that are not planned. Well things happened that year and mom had to work in other to take care of me. Discouraged she put that aside and did what she had to do to take care of her family. She had no idea that some thirty years later that the same little boy that sat with her in her college classes would not hold a degree from that same community college but teach there as well.
All three of her children would become college educated.
Present Circumstances Don’t Determine Future Possibilities
As we look at our scripture today please know that in these parables there is a message for Crossroads and all of those who take residence in the Kingdom.
Parables, they can be tricky. Jesus spoke in parables for multiple reasons. Very strategic, his detractors were ready to pounce at any minute and ready to accuse Jesus of an offense, so he spoke in parables with truth in his words and revealed to those who spiritual ears and spiritual eyes were open. His parables were meant to enlighten the true hearted, cause the listener think, cause those who were on the sidelines spirituality to choose and be accountable for their choices and lastly by speaking in parables Jesus fulfilled prophecy.
In Mark 4:26-34, we see the parable of the growing seed. And this parable there are three points
- The mystery of Growth
Power of growth and mystery is that it happens beyond our eyes. Right now all we may see is that we are a congregation in transition made up of individuals who may be going through our own transitions.
We don’t see the growth in the beginning stages but we see it over time
While we sleep growth happens, when our days on earth or over what the Lord has planted will continue to grow
- Where the power of Growth is hidden The seed
From the smallest source comes the potential of expansive growth
God’s Word and truth through Jesus Christ is the seed and the soul is our soul the Holy Spirit works with the seed and our soul
From that seed grows the potential of protection, potential of shelter, strength, comfort and love
III. Where growth can be seen
Growth is in the heart and life
Growth spiritual growth
God’s Word and truth through Jesus Christ is the seed and the soil is our soul the Holy Spirit works with the seed and our soul and our actions should show this.
Present Circumstances Don’t Determine Future Possibilities
So here we are Crossroads part of God’s Kingdom part of the now
The Neighbor : A Call To Social Justice
When I think of today’s message, I am drawn to an incident that happened in the Palmer household.
I was told by my family to no longer place them in my sermons or my messages. I hope that they will let me slide this one time. I am afraid if I do it again the cease and desist letters will come.
Some years ago when my son Chris was barely four or five who is 11 now, I was working as an HIV/AIDS educator and trainer and in my possession were many red HIV Awareness stickers. One day Chris got into my stash and soon we had HIV Awareness ribbons through out the house and vehicles. So Chris and I had a little talk, during that talk he asked me what the stickers were for and I explained that they we wear those to show people living with HIV/AIDS that we care about them and want to do everything we can to help them.
Chris looked at me, paused for a minute and said, “Daddy I don’t think I am doing enough”. I told him that he was doing enough.
Can the same be said for us who have the resources in our hands to help those who are impacted negatively by social issues. As individuals and as those unified in bodies of religious thought and/or believers in common goals we must ask ourselves are we doing enough.
Am I doing enough? Are we doing enough?
As we who have found safety, shelter, love and inclusion, have we forgotten that our work is not finished. There are others who may not look like us, talk like us, may not be in our social economic, sexual orientation whose desire to live their lives and to be treated with decency, love and respect and yet they are met with oppression. Be it the denying marriage for our lesbian, gay, bi and transgender brothers and sister, be it the denying a living wage to our brothers and sisters who have been caught in the cycle of poverty. And even though we elected our first multi-racial president, this country is still plagued by racism, sexism, heterosexism, ageism, and discrimination against the disabled.
It is time for us to step out the comfort of our own inclusion and privilege and be the voice for those whose voices are ignored.
We must understand that we are all connected. Beyond our race, beyond our social economic statuses, beyond our career choices, or even religious beliefs we are connected, we are neighbors.
There was a man who taught this same lesson to his followers and even those who were trying to disprove him. In one of his teachings Jesus spoke on loving thy neighbor as thyself. Who’s the neighbor one listener asked?
And the response came in a parable.
Luke 10:30-37
30 Jesus replied, “A man fell victim to robbers as he went down from Jerusalem to Jericho.
They stripped and beat him and went off leaving him half-dead.
31
A priest happened to be going down that road, but when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side.
32
Likewise a Levite came to the place, and when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side.
33
But a Samaritan traveler who came upon him was moved with compassion at the sight.
34
He approached the victim, poured oil and wine over his wounds and bandaged them.
Then he lifted him up on his own animal, took him to an inn and cared for him.
35
The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper with the instruction, ‘Take care of him. If you spend more than what I have given you, I shall repay you on my way back.’
36
Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to the robbers’ victim?”
37
He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”
There is a population in our country that in every turn they make they are met with obstacles. These are our brothers and sisters living in poverty. Poverty is the lack of adequate resources to be able to provide the basic needs of food, water, clothing, housing, medical care, and education.
The shame, the stigma, and the red tape they are met as they try to receive services from our federal government, add to the negativity they face in their lives.
Whenever we see images of those caught in the cycle of poverty from the media we often see the so called innocent victims; children and the elderly. However when it comes to able bodied men and adults of color, no matter their stories, it seems as though the blame is on them.
So we show no and have no compassion for them because they brought it on themselves. The church is truly guilty of this mindset. We are still caught in the Puritan thought process that if you don’t work then you don’t eat. Will we also go back to the work houses and the poor houses of the 19th century?
The truth is no one is immune from poverty.
Like the man in this parable many of us have taken a wrong path in our lives. Some of us made it through okay while others like this man have been caught up. The path from Jerusalem to Jericho was dangerous; everyone knew that you just didn’t travel alone.
There were thieves and robbers waiting to attack, rob and kill.
Poverty is also a thief, it attacks your physical health, tries to steal your future and kill your spirit. Some were born into the cycle of poverty while others stumble into poverty through decisions of their own making or by . Just like the man featured in this story the church has abandoned those impacted by poverty, especially those we feel as though they brought it on themselves.. They are left to defend themselves from those entities who oppress them and seek to take advantage of them. It is no surprise that poverty is a billion dollar industry. From those public agencies designed to help them leave poverty (which actually due to the hoops that those they serve have to jump to get services) keep many in poverty; to those businesses that make a profit off of the disadvantage.
If you want to identify a neighborhood impacted by poverty just count these businesses; liquor stores, payday loan business, and count the lack of grocery stores that sell fresh fruit and vegetables.
These businesses take advantage of those of poverty, especially pay day loan businesses. In this zip code there are 25 payday loan businesses in a 3 mile radius
According to the state Department of Finance, in the year ending Sept. 30, 2008, in Missouri the average annual interest rate charged by these companies was 430.58 percent. On average, loans were recycled 1.7 times.
Where is our collective voice against these heinous acts of greed?
Have we turned into the priest who saw the man lying on the side of the road and thought “Well he is already dead and I must not defile myself with him”.
We think that about those who may live in housing projects. Well I must not associate with them; I must not even get involved in this addressing poverty thing because those in poverty need to pull themselves up from their bootstraps. Or do we think they must have done something terrible for Karma to hit them like this. (The priest must have thought “The man must have really sinned to get suffer like he did or he brought it on his self.)
Now there is another group of us who are like the Levite. At least he stopped and looked at the man. Yes he stopped, but he offered no support, no prayer, no medicine, he offered nothing but his judgment.
He stared for a minute and kept on going. He believed just looking was enough?
Don’t you think we have been looking long enough?
Even though a war on poverty was declared by then President Lyndon Johnson in 1964, we seem to be on the losing side as poverty continues to take prisoners of war.
We see it today in the quest for a decent living wage The living wage is the hourly rate that an individual must earn to support their family, if they are the sole provider and are working full-time (2080 hours per year). Here in Kansas City the living wage for a single parent with two children is 46,465
Minimum wage is not enough, in fact the current minimum wage is 55 cent under poverty wage. We may say that those caught in poverty need to apply themselves more, go to college get a different career, get a decent wage (I did). For many there is a desire to improve their lives via education but there are so many hurdles that they must jump. A new hurdle is that those who do not have at least a GED are no longer able to receive Federal Financial AID to pay for their education. This sends many further into the deep clutches of poverty.
We speak about loving our neighbor and yet we love from a distant.
We don’t want to get ourselves dirty, don’t want to get involve or don’t have the time.
It was no accident that Jesus mentioned the Samaritan in this parable. The Jews despised the Samaritans for they thought that they were unclean, heathens, etc. And yet those who thought of themselves as so holy were not Jesus’ example of a real neighbor.
A loving neighbor; it was the “sinful” Samaritan who stopped when he saw the man, took care of his wounds, made sure that he was taken care of and showed him compassion.
As I look around this body of believers: Believers that we all should be treated with love decency and respect I am reminded that all of us here are also looked on as Samaritan by those with traditional religious views. Many of us have been scorned because we have decided to love and take or spiritual views outside the box. We are the Samaritans and it is up to us to stop and pick up our wounded neighbor and bring them to safety and healing.
We do that by collecting our voices and resources and standing behind organizations such as More2 who are made up of people from different backgrounds and beliefs united for a common goal that is to be the voice of the voiceless.
As individuals we take the first step by looking past our differences to see that yes we are all connected. And by doing that we will develop a true sense of compassion and no matter if we use our voices or our resources to speak out against the social injustice; we will indeed be heard as neighbors concerned for their fellow human.
Regrettable Words: A Response
As an African American Minister who is a straight LGBT Ally, I disagree with Rev. Collier’s views on marriage equality (found in the Kansas City Star).
Rev. Collier’s first point was that the definition of marriage was assigned by God. If our country was a theocracy and govern by a religious leader and a church body, then this type of thinking would be applicable. Because we are a country without an assigned religious belief, laws based on one’s religious beliefs should not be a part of our fabric. There was a time in our American history when African Americans and women were denied civil rights based on other’s religious beliefs.
Rev. Collier’s second point that civil rights for gays is not equivalent to civil rights for African Americans has been challenged by many of those who were in the forefront of the Black Civil Rights Movement.
On March 23, 2004, the late Coretta Scott King told an audience at that same sex marriage is a civil rights issue. She denounced a proposed amendment advanced by then President, George Bush to the US Constitution that would ban equal marriage rights for same-sex couples. In her speech King also criticized a group of black pastors in her home state of Georgia for backing a bill to amend that state’s constitution to block gay and lesbian couples from marrying. She stated that ”Gay and lesbian people have families, and their families should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages is a form of ga gay-bashing and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriage.”
Likewise, former civil rights leader Julian Bond has stated in regards to marriage equality and the black community,
“Black people, of all people, should not oppose equality. And that is what gay marriage represents.
It does not matter the rationale – religious, cultural, pseudo-scientific. No people of goodwill should oppose marriage equality. And they should not think that civil unions are a substitute. At best, civil unions are separate but equal. And we all know separate is never equal.”
Rev. Collier’s third point was that he and all Christian leaders reject bigotry, hatred or disrespect toward gays and lesbians and should affirm the lgbt as persons of dignity.
Denying legal marriage to lgbt people is not affirmation. Denying marriage equality for the lgbt community based on your religious beliefs is bigotry.
Lastly, Rev. Collier stated that “In a democracy, the people decide their laws. Persuasively, people in 32 states, when given a chance, have consistently recognized marriage as between one man and one woman. In the sight of God, they are right!”
I am thankful to God that the people did not have a chance to vote on my rights as a black man.
Many during the 50′s and 60′s believed that segregation was right in the sight of God based on their interpretations of scriptures.
Rev. Gerald Palmer, MSW
Word for the Soul Ministries
Kansas City, MO
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Detox
August 2013 will mark my eleventh year of addressing religious based homophobia. For almost eleven years I have traveled the road of toxic shame, and…
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And I Knock
Matthew 7:7-11 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone…
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The Art of Giving Your All: Walking In The Footsteps of Jesus
Mark 12:38-44 NIV 12:38 As he taught, he said, “Beware of the scribes, who like to walk around in long robes, and to be greeted…
